i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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