So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
