I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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