pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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