i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
