So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
