glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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