I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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