Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
