As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
