You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
