I want to walk on stilts...naked
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
