That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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