there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
