i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
