look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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