i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
ok first of all what the fuck
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
