i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
