I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
