He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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