shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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