I'm lost and stupid without you.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
