My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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