You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
