I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
