I want to stick my p in your. b.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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