All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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