and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
