His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
