you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
