I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
