addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
