Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
