I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
