Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
