Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
