What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
