walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
