i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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