Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I want her autograph on my taint
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just forgot I was standing up.
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