he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
