Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
