also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
