U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
