Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
