just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
how does that bad decision feel?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
