It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
