She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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