shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
NoShamevember. You game?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
