I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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