I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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