I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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