it's too hot outside to masturbate.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
