Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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