Barsexuality is the new black.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
