At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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