all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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