she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
