My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
