I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
