Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
