We named our party play list daddy issues
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
