i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
