I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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