the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
