I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have already put on my inside pants.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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