I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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