her vagine was all disorganized.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
