i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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