tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
