Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
