May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
