so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize