If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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