i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
