Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
my liver is dry heaving
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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